Fold My Laundry Please

We are on monkeywatch, people!  Curious George, aka "Butterfly Monkey", is missing!  He was last seen a few nights ago and we can’t seem to locate him anywhere.  Attempts to lure him back to our family by leaving such treats such as bananas and jellybeans out on the counter at night have all failed.  We are starting to fear that perhaps Aurora tossed him into the trash and we didn’t notice.  He could be sitting in the bottom of some moldy, slimy, dumpster with old spaghetti dripping down his face, wondering where his loving family is!  Most likely, that’s not the case.  We’ve gotten in the habit of looking in the garbage everytime we throw something out to check for wayward toys.  But I know a little girl that cries every morning because he’s not sitting in her crib waiting for her to wake up so that they can start out their day playing together.  Butterfly Monkey, where are you?

I was tagged the other day by Teresa and am finally getting around to doing it.  It’s a simple meme, just follow these easy directions!

1. Grab the closest book to you
2. Turn to page 123
3. Go down to the 5th sentence
4. Post the next 3 sentences in your blog
5. Don’t forget to include the name of the book and the author
6. Tag three other people

"Centaur Aisle" by Piers Anthony

"Dubiously, Chet tried it.  It worked; he was able to brace against the two columns, careful not to fall between them, and walk slowly forward.  Irene followed, more awkwardly, for the twin columns were at slightly different elevations and varied in separation."

I tag Amber, Txmommy, and Wordgirl.  Have fun ladies!

The other day at work, I was sitting in the breakroom chatting with some of my co-workers.  (All names have been changed to protect the "innocent".)

Carol:  Why do you go to those cheesy dances at the college every week?

Bob:  I live alone.  I need something to do with my time.

Me:  Why don’t you get a hobby?  You could teach yourself to knit or something.

Carol:  *laughing at image of Bob knitting*

Bob:  *looking confused*  Why would I want to get a hubby?

Carol:  *falls out of chair due to onset of hysterical laughter*

Me:  HAH-bee, not HUH-bee!

Bob:  Oh!  Well, that would take such a long time…

Me:  Yeah, you’re right.  First you gotta meet the right guy…

Bob:  *chokes on lunch*

Carol:  *can no longer catch breath and is rapidly turning a bluish hue*

Poor Carol, she will be missed!

This evening during bathtime, Ethan began to wax philosophic while I scrubbed his hair.  "Girls have babies in their bellies, not their bums.  It would look really funny if babies came out of your bum!"  While drying Ethan off, he started shivering.  "Brrrrr!  Brrrrr!  Brrrrr-ito!  Brrrr-ito!  Mommy, that’s how you say, "Brrrr" in Spanish.  They named the food after it because you keep them in the freezer before you cook them."  It doesn’t say much for my culinary skills, does it?

We’ve been cracking down on Gideon’s thumbsucking habit, lately.  The only time we don’t bother him about it is as he’s falling asleep at night.  Tonight, as we walked out of his room with him all tucked into bed, he asked sweetly, "I suck my thumb for two minute?"  He got his two minutes, though he was asleep before the first minute was up.

After we got the boys into their beds, we were gathering up Aurora’s babies so that they would be in her crib with her at night.  They help her to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up at night.  We found Pink Pony and set about looking for Curious George (or Butterfly Monkey, as he is also known at our house).  I walked around with Aurora in my arms calling, "Geooooorge, where are you?  Geooooooooooorge!"  Aurora helped call for him, too.  "Joooooooo!  Joooooooo!"

It is cold here in Idaho!  I’m not just talking about temperatures below freezing, I’m talking about temperature below 0 Fahrenheit!  Not that it’s unusual weather for our area this time of year.  It just took its time getting here and then slammed into us while we had our backs turned!  With everyone around here being fairly used to the cold and snow, it takes a lot to close the schools.  There has to be either snow falling in amounts that the snowplows cannot keep up and drifting is dangerous on the roads or temperatures of negative 20 (windchill factors of negative 45) degrees before they will close school.  Thursday, Fremont County closed its schools because of excessive snow.  Friday, at least 5 different counties in Eastern Idaho closed their schools because of low temperatures.  Wrap your brain around that if you can!  When I left for work on Friday morning, it was 22 degrees below zero!  I think it warmed up all the way to minus 6 that day.  Practically shorts weather!  As I’m typing this, the Weather Channel is telling me that it’s 11 below zero, but that it feels like -26!  You know, there’s a woman in Colorado selling snow from the recent blizzards on Ebay.  Maybe I should try selling boxes of cold!  Anyone have any blankets I can borrow?

Okay, I’m a little bit late with this one, but this week is National Delurking Week!  That means everyone who reads my blog, but never comments should definitely say hello today…otherwise I might think that no one loves me!  So even if you’re just stopping by, leave me a comment and give me some love!  It doesn’t have to be a prize-winning work of literature, just a little note to let me know you care.  No guilt intended.  Or maybe it is intended! *wicked glint flashes in eyes*  I’m not telling!    I’m actually kind of curious to see whether or not the people who regularly comment are really the only people reading or what.  Don’t let me down, folks!

Twice in two days I’ve been confronted with some of the worst customer service I’ve ever seen.  On Friday, I decided to stop by Gandolfo’s New York Deli to pick up something "quick" for dinner.  Many times in the past I’ve pulled up to the place only to find a sign taped to the window saying something like, "Closed early.  Out of bread."  And this is always at a fairly early hour, like 5 pm.  What kind of a sandwich place runs out of bread more than 5 hours before closing time!  This time, however, they had bread but were out of brains.  There were two young girls there staffing the place.  As I placed my order, I found myself having to speak very slowly and hearing a whole lot of "I’m new here and our manager is gone."  Even with me trying to check and double check what she was doing, she still got it wrong and I had to go back up to the register to correct the error.  The other girl I’ve seen in there before…on her very first day…a week before.  She was intently studying the cheat sheets trying in vain to make sandwiches for the orders that were quickly piling up.  In case you missed this most important point of my story, the entire store was staffed by two people who had been employed less than a week.  No managers.  No properly trained employee of any sort.  At the high point of the dinner rush.  Eventually, the girl at the register asked those people waiting in line to hold on a moment while she went back and stared blankly at the cheat sheets with her co-worker.  The situation was really so awkward, it was funny.  Eventually I was given sandwiches vaguely resembling what I had ordered and headed home before my humor ran out.

Saturday evening, I took Ethan out to Walmart to find something to spend his well earned money he got from the Tooth Fairy on.  He was so cute about it!  We spent a fair amount of time wandering around the toy section discussing the different toy combinations he could get with $5.  Finally, he decided on a puzzle and a little light up sword.  He wanted to get one for Gideon and Aurora, too, but he didn’t have quite enough money for that.  I volunteered to pay for their swords and we cheerfully headed off to the register so that Ethan could pay for his items.  We stood in line for a little bit and when we finally got to the front, I informed the cashier that Ethan wanted to pay for his things himself and could she please ring them up separately.  She sighed, looked incredibly annoyed, and proceeded to scan his toys and then turned to me and gave me the total.  I turned to Ethan, told him how much it was and let him know it was time to give her the money.  He smiled big and handed over his $5 bill.  She refused to look at him and then dropped his change in the general area of his hand.  Of course, he dropped it all over the floor and instead of apologizing, the cashier commenced scanning the rest of my items while I crawled around on the floor picking up the coins so that Ethan could put them into his envelope. 

When I stood up, she told me my total.  I looked at the conveyor belt and stared for a moment at the remainder of my items she had failed to scan.  "That includes my things over there, too?" I asked.  Then she got really irritable, because, really, who did I think I was, wanting to walk out with every single thing I had put in my cart!  And…I had a coupon!  The nerve!  So while she scanned the other things, I swiped my card.  She did her thing so that the transaction could be completed.  Then she started scanning the next customers things and bagging them, before I had even signed the screen for my credit card.  I had an evil little thought run through my head that I should just leave without signing, obviously she didn’t really want my money.  "Just tap the cancel option!" the little voice said.  But then my shoulder-angel appeared and reminded me that I would be setting a very bad example indeed for my children and also, Walmart most likely would prosecute to the fullest extent of the law!  I signed for my card, the cashier took time out of checking out the other customer long enough to shoot me a disapproving glare and thrust my receipt at me, and I left the store feeling more than a little peeved.  I could have stood the rudeness to myself, maybe even have laughed it off, but that hag was rude to my baby on his very first time experiencing the joy of first person consumerism!  The more I think of that fact, the more I wish I had reached across the counter and taught her a few things about manners and common decency!

What is wrong with people lately?  At work I talk with customers all day long and if any of us even dared think anything rude at a customer, we’d be called in to counseling with a supervisor before we even hung up the phone!  What kind of manager lets the store be run completely by new employees who still know next to nothing about the jobs they’ve been hired for?  Not to mention the frequent running out of bread thing.  Either someone isn’t planning effectively, or they need to find a new manager.  And has Walmart lost so much money trying to pretend to be high end by selling fresh sushi and having professional pianists play live music for their customers that they can no longer afford to hire polite people?  All I can say is that I will definitely be calling some store managers tomorrow, not to mention getting in contact with some district offices.  There’s just no excuse for this sort of thing. 

Of all things to forget to tell my blog friends about, my sweet little firstborn baby boy reached a milestone on Christmas Day.  Ethan lost his first tooth!  Together, he and I carefully put the tooth in an envelope and set it under his pillow at bedtime.  When Ethan woke up, the Tooth Fairy had taken the tooth and left a crisp five dollar bill in its place.  You heard me, $5!  Five, funf, cinco, cinq, hah-mesh, viisi, FIVE!  Who knew that the tooth losing business had become so lucrative?  Perhaps I should start pulling my own teeth out!