Fold My Laundry Please

I think that this man has used up all his luck!  First he gets hit with by a tractor/trailer going 70 mph and only loses a leg, then he gets shot by a burglar and lives to tell about it!  He definitely has a guardian angel watching over him!

Someone was serious about his chili sauce!

What I want to know is, how they walk out of the resort carrying a bathtub and no one saw them?

Ah, religious sensitivity at its classiest!

I think I’ll be skipping a visit to the Science Museum this summer.  Looking at plasticized dead people is just a little too creepy for me.

We had carrots with dinner tonight.  Apparently, my children are morally opposed to carrots.  They ate them pretty easily, despite their objections, but first there were a few points that mom had to smooth out.

Ethan:  I don’t like carrots.

Me:  But if you eat up all your carrots, you’ll be able to see in the dark, like a cat!

Ethan:  Oh great, now I’ll be up all night long looking at things!

Gideon:  I don’t want to turn into a cat!

Me:  You won’t turn into a cat.  Now eat your carrots.

Ethan:  I would like to meet someone who was turning into a cat.  What sorts of things can people eat to turn into cats?

Me:  People can’t turn into cats.  No matter what they eat.  People just always stay people.

Ethan:  What about crocodiles?

Me:  No crocodiles either.  Eat your carrots.  Gideon, you too.

Gideon (looking terrified):  But I don’t want to turn into a crocodile!

Me (becoming exasperated):  You’re not going to turn into a crocodile!  Eat! Your! Carrots!

Eventually, everyone settled down and commenced with the carrot eatin’.  After a few bites, I looked closely at Gideon.  He just stared blankly back.  I held his arm close to my face.

Me:  Dad, do you see scales growing on Gideon? 

Dad:  I believe I do see scales.  And his teeth look pointier.

Me:  Oh my goodness!  Carrots are turning Gideon into a crocodile!

I’ll be awaiting your votes for Mother of the Year.

Does anyone know if a traffic ticket is still valid if the officer forgets to put the amount of the fine on the blank line for it?  Theoretically speaking of course.

I’m not sure how welcome you would feel if you came back from a two year mission and found your house looking like this.

I personally would’ve preferred something edible!

The woman is this video has left me speechless. 

Each week, our local library has a wonderful story time.  The kids get to dance and sing and listen to fun stories being told and acted out by the library staff.  This week was the last storytime for the summer and the kids went on a trip to Fir Point Farms in nearby Aurora, OR. 

There were goats, chickens, and bunnies to feed, fun things to play in and plenty of cutouts to take cute pictures with.  Aurora loved feeding the goats.

Aurora was overjoyed when they kissed her fingers!

The kids loved playing in Noah’s Ark.

"Hard to starboard, ye scurvy pirates!"

"Aye, aye, Captain!  Arrrggghh!!"

They also had a nut house to play in.  It was sort of like a ball pit, but with millions of acorns instead of balls.  This is what happened if you didn’t keep moving.

Ethan tried to keep from sinking hip deep by running full speed at all times!  I’m just glad no shoes were lost because I would not have been a happy mommy if I had to search through the nuts for lost shoes!

Aurora refused to let go of my leg, lest the nuts swallow her tiny self up!  What she failed to realize is that she doesn’t weigh enough yet to sink down into them! 

We really had a great time there!  Unfortunately, I had not taken any allergy medicine, so we had to leave a little earlier than the other kids due to the fact that my face was melting at an alarmingly rapid pace!  The kids had a blast, though!

Yet another installment of Friday Funnies!

"A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.  ‘Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.’  Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.  Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.  The frog says, ‘Sure. I have this,’ and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.  Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

"She finds the manager and says, ’There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.’  She holds up the tiny pink elephant. ‘I mean, what in the world is this?’

"The bank manager looks back at her and says, ’It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan.  His old man’s a Rolling Stone.’"

That one was courtesy of my good friend Tori from "back in the day".  Thanks Tori!  Hope you guys have a great weekend!

Our new apartment has a playground right outside of our door.  Convenient for the kids, but the mom gets to hear this alllllllll day, "Can we PLEASE play in the playground?  Please, please, please, please, pleeeeaaaase!"  I took them out there this afternoon and was able to take some nice shots of them playing.

When the man who does the landscaping in our apartment complex woke up this morning, do you think he knew he would be performing for a standing room only audience?  Or that he would get a rousing round of applause when he finished trimming our bushes?

They followed this poor man from window to window and clapped and cheered when he finished the last bush!  Ah the life of a celebrity!

My daughter, "The Adorable Ham" seems to have a sixth sense about when a camera is pointing at her, even if her back is turned!

You know it’s a really big smile when the eyes are closed!

In church this morning, the bishopric gave out flowers to all the women for Mother’s Day, which was nice.  Then the Young Men came around and handed out beautifully wrapped chocolates to the ladies, which was great!  I was sitting there thinking what a nice ward we had moved into when the Elder’s Quorum came into the room with trays full of 4 layer chocolate cake decorated with freshly sliced strawberries for everyone, which was WONDERFUL!  Hope you all had a chocolatey Mother’s Day, too!

I know I posted this video last year, but it’s so funny and who doesn’t need more laughter in their lives?