Something to Wrte, and not a lot of time - (The Husband guy)
This post will probably be deleted soon, it’s not my blog… but there are a few things I wanted to say to the blog world that my wife is way too nice to mention. Our in-laws have been visiting for the last week and some days… and I wanted to take a second to mention the idea that was presented by my Mother-in-Law concerning blog communication. It is her "idea" that my wife is not sharing her most dear moments with her, and that using a Blog to try to communicate the events and things that matter is crass, is a poor form of showing affection. She has mentioned this last week that this feeling is shared by her whole side of the family, that having been personally invited to read this "community blog" isn’t enough, these individuals would all much rather have a personal e-mail.
Now, my thoughts: "Good luck with that." I’m not a busy person, but my wife is, she kills herself every day taking care of children, and finances, and the house. It’s because of her the bills are paid, the children will know their numbers and alphabet without first having to suffer through public education. In her busy life she "could" write everyone an e-mail personally, but they would be short, and cold… and worthless.
A Blog is a tool of communication, and cutting yourself out of one of the easiest methods a mother of 3.75 can talk with you is probably not the best method of staying up to date with her life… if that is what you want to do. I’ll create a metaphor, imagine my dear Mother, she wants me to write letters to her because she can keep them on file, I call her… lets pretend she told me that she didn’t value calling as much and that she wouldn’t therefore use that method of communication… then she’d be a complete stranger to me (last time I bought a stamp they were 29 cents (and still not worth that much)) I feel this is the same thing, my wife has enough time to blog about the things that matter most about her, and besides that she’s chasing around diapers, or doing other things that are vital to our home.
The blog is more than just a way to communicate with our immediate family, anyone who shows an interest in our life is included into our life, even more, my wife has told me that her "blog friends" are more real to her than people she can see in real life, because they know what’s going on with her life, she makes every effort in the world to read their lives through their blogs, and she thinks of them all of the time and gauges the events of her day with a scale of "worth reporting" or "not". If someone were to cut themselves out of this… family she shares everything with… who wins then?
Just some ramblings that my wife might delete later, I just wanted my feelings on how my wife views the blog to be out there, and to vent my frustration that my wife’s family would exclude themselves from her life… and to let the people out there know that they’re valued and thought about. (The people who comment often are even added to her Google Map so that "someday" we can visit them
(lol my grammar isn’t as nice as my wife’s, neither do I read my post 4 times before sending it.)
(If you comment tons she might not delete this post, she loves comments (it’s a secret))
I’m so glad you commented. Every woman-Mother needs to “fill her platter” so to speak. I love Melissa’s blog site. The pictures and everything. It makes me feel closer. Oh how I love you! BlOG ON!
Comment by mom — August 5, 2007 @ 8:23 pm
Thank you!!!
I feel the same way about blogging. Not only is it a way for our family that doesn’t live near us. We are a Navy family. But it’s also helped me connect with other women that do the same thing I do every day. That share in the same joys or frusterations. I feel like these women that I read about are my friends. I frequently refer to them as “friends.”
So who cares what a few people think, blog on.
Comment by Erin — August 6, 2007 @ 6:26 am
I feel the same way as Melissa. I have real good blog friends. I look forward to their posts…to get little glimpses into their lives. They feel the same things as me…think the same as me. It’s like getting together to chat…even when us busy moms have no time to actually do that.
Comment by teresa — August 6, 2007 @ 11:33 am
You are brave…my DH wouldn’t even know how to highjack my blog and I would probably definitly delete him! But you’ve said some very nice things sticking up for your wife. I must say my family loves my blog and some read it and some don’t. Maybe the blog isn’t personal enough for some, but I think it is a great tool especially for mom with kids and busy schedules. You’re sweet to publically take your wife’s side.
Comment by Kathy/ Lessons from the Laundry — August 6, 2007 @ 1:28 pm
Well…you know, the wife didn’t have to share the community blog information with them at all. They should be thankful for the insight into her life that they get from reading the blog—that they may otherwise miss out on due to time constraint, or whatever reason.
sure, everyone loves a personal letter or email…and if one has both the time & inclination to send that, then they may get a personal email….
My mom loves my blog. We still talk on the phone & some of the things I tell her are duplicated in the blog…but she always tells me how much she loves reading it b/c it has pictures, and she can check in on it every single day…because sometimes we don’t talk every single day.
It’s all about perspective, and perhaps the extended family just needs to look at the blog a little differently…
Comment by Lainey-Paney — August 7, 2007 @ 10:06 am
You’re a dear, sweet man for 1)noticing the thousands of thankless things your wife does at home and elevating their worth in a public forum, 2) defending this blog and its importance to her 3) defending the its combination of form and function which allows her to “journal” her thoughts as well as mark the events of the day so that family and friends are brought into your inner circle even though “SOME PEOPLE” would rather throw rocks at the concept than recognize how lucky they are that she shares this blog with them. My mother knows nothing about my blog and I’m not alone in this. It’s something to think about.
Comment by wordgirl — August 7, 2007 @ 8:53 pm