Fold My Laundry Please

I don’t know what’s the matter with me today, but something is up!  Or rather someone is up…ME!  And I should not be!  It’s only 1:30 am  right now, and, really, that’s not very late for me, but I went to bed at around 1 or 1:30 last night and woke up at, wait for it, 3:30 in the morning!  Even the birds weren’t up yet!  And the sun, it still had the bed covers pulled over its head!  When I woke up, I lay in bed for a while trying to fall back to sleep.  Then my brain kicked into overdrive and before I knew it I had flung myself into a full scale nesting panic!

Ugh.  I hate not being able to sleep.  Well, what do I have to do tomorrow?  I should do some laundry.  I’m all out of underwear so I’ll throw in the whites first thing when I get out of bed.  Okay.  Sleepy time.  Go to sleep.  Go to sleep.  Go. to. sleep!  OH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY, WHY CAN’T I SLEEP?!?!  Okay, just relax.  Breathe deep.  Get comfy.  There we go.  I hope I don’t go into labor tomorrow.  Oh great, what if I do go into labor tomorrow?  Nope, not gonna happen.  I still have 3 weeks to go.  Not gonna happen.  But what if I do?  I don’t even have any clean underwear to go to the hospital in.  I wonder if I’d have time to wait for a load of laundry to wash and dry?  And I haven’t even gotten the baby’s car seat washed up yet.  Just great!  That’s it!  I’ve jinxed myself!  I don’t have the car seat cleaned, much less installed, the baby clothes are washed, but still sitting in a laundry basket waiting to be put away, the bassinet’s not ready, the blankets haven’t been washed, I haven’t even picked out a new blanket for the baby’s coming home from the hospital blanket yet, GREAT GOOGILY MOOGILY, I DON’T EVEN HAVE MY HOSPITAL BAG PACKED YET, I HAVEN’T WRITTEN OUT THE LIST OF PHONE NUMBERS OF PEOPLE TO CALL WHEN I GO TO THE HOSPITAL HOW WILL MY HUSBAND KNOW WHO TO CALL AND I STILL HAVE TO GET TO TARGET TO BUY THE LITTLE TRAVEL SIZE TOOTHPASTE AND STUFF FOR MY BAG AND I’M SO NOT READY FOR THIS I’M A TERRIBLE MOTHER AND WHY OH WHY CAN’T I SLEEP MY BODY MUST KNOW SOMETHING I DON’T EITHER THAT OR I’M BEING SMITED BY THE LORD FOR SOME TRANSGRESSION I CAN’T REMEMBER DOING NOW AND I JUST KNOW THAT I’M GOING TO END UP HEADING OFF TO THE HOSPITAL IN DIRTY UNDERWEAR OH THE HUMANITY!  GAAAAAAAH!!!

That’s when I decided I needed to get out of bed and find something to occupy my mind with.  Luckily, I hadn’t been able to get to Monday’s crossword puzzles in the newspaper that day.  I got up, made myself comfy on the couch, and concentrated on thinking of an eight letter word for "an underwater creature whose males give birth".  (The answer is "seahorse" for those who are interested.)  I figured a half hour or so of this would calm my brain down and I would be able to crawl back into bed and resume a peaceful slumber, but I figured wrong. 

I was up until about 8 am when I decided that, since the kids were still all asleep, I would try laying down for a bit.  I promptly crashed out only to be awakened by children bouncing on the bed asking for my World of Warcraft and Tabula Rasa passwords.  So I got back up and resumed my day.  Amazingly enough, I never got sleepy throughout the entire day.  Not even one teeny tiny urge to lay down for a nap.  I also had no urge to eat, either.  I think I had a piece of birthday cake for breakfast and then…a chicken patty for dinner.  Possibly I snacked on a handful of Cheez-Its.  But I don’t think so.

Evening came, I got the kids to bed, and then remembered that my bed was covered with clean laundry waiting to be folded.  If I was gonna get any sleep at all tonight, I had a job to do.  My husband, needing sleep for work tomorrow, crawled under the pile on the quilt and promptly fell asleep while I folded laundry with only the light from the closet to guide me.  Eventually it all got folded and put away, but I’m still not sleepy, hence, I am sitting at my computer, blogging.  I suppose I’ll try laying down again.  My ankles and feet are swollen to three times their normal size due to my lack of down laying.  I guess if I can’t sleep, I could always try reading by the light of the closet.  Although, my mother always said that reading without proper lighting would make me go blind, but I suppose I’ll just have to take that risk.