Fold My Laundry Please

It’s been nearly two weeks since my family and I washed up on this viral island.  Such a short amount of time, but each day just.  Draaaaags.  On.  At first, the natives seemed nice enough.  Sure, they seemed to have a nagging cough and their noses seemed a bit runny, but they were good people.  Oh, if only we had known.  If only I had known! 

The children were the first to succumb.  The coughing.  The sneezing.  The runny noses.  It wasn’t so innocent.  Then they set their sights on Andrew.  He wasn’t easy to take down, though.  They had to hit him with both guns and running.  I heard him getting ready in the morning, forcefully ejecting every last food item he had eaten the night before.  After a fairly miserable day of stomach issues, his system was finally weak enough for The Germs to take over.  Suddenly, it was me against the world.  I was running to and fro, distributing medication and tirelessly wiping noses.  I was frantic to free my family from the grip of this mad contagion. 

Finally, I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Ethan and Gideon began to show signs of improvement, as did Andrew.  I had a little bit of a sore throat, but I managed to push through it.  Then we were struck by the dreaded PINKEYE!  Luckily, I still had the eye drops from our last dance with this disgusting enemy.  But that would be the last break we would get.

Days went by and Aurora began having nightly fevers while Aubrey continued coughing and sneezing her way through each night.  At last I can hold out no longer; for the natives are persuasive and their culture is infectious.  I spent last night alternating between sweating and freezing.  I was forced to seek solace in a medicine bottle at the awful hour of 2:30 in the morning.  Tylenol and ice water fast became my friends.

Morning arrived, eventually, and I gathered up just enough strength to scatter a box of graham crackers on the ground for breakfast, much as one would to feed chickens, before collapsing in the La-Z-Boy and recommencing my oblivion.  I sit here now, a mere shadow of the woman I was when first we walked up on shore.  I can only hope *COUGH! HACK! COUGH!* that others will read this *wheeze…wheeze…wheeeeezzze*and learn *COUGH! wheeeeezzze! Sniffle, sniffle, SNORT!* from my tale…

This message was brought to you by, "Fever Dreams!"  Because who doesn’t want to dream the same thing over and over again all night long? 

And, "Tylenol"!  America’s most trusted brand of acetominophin!  "If it’s good enough for a hospital, it’s good enough for my family!"