Fold My Laundry Please

Okay. I’m sorry.  I know I’ve been neglecting you.  But I swear I have a good reason.  You see, all my good blog ideas come to me during the day when I’m typically out of the house.  Once I get home, I’m usually a useless blob who couldn’t put two words together into a coherent sentence if I tried blur of meal preparation, house cleaning, and bedtime goodness.  Then suddenly it’s late at night and I’d rather be spending my time talking with my husband than writing about my day.  No offense.

But you guys are important to me, too.  So here’s my plan.  I’m going to have a chip installed in my brain that will keep me connected to my blog site at all times.  Then I’ll create a pair of glasses that will show me a see through version of my blog so that I can write while still being able to do things like drive.  It’s not like I pay a whole lot of attention on the road anyway.  Then, using the chip in my brain, I will think out my posts and I will be able to see the words appear on the screen on my glasses.  Of course, I will only save my posts and wait to edit them at home before publishing them.  I wouldn’t want to walk around appearing totally distracted or anything.  At home is one thing, but in public…

This of course will leave everyone I come into contact with wondering whether or not I’m blogging about them.  A little dose of paranoia from time to time can be healthy.  You can thank me later.

This idea is loads better than my other attempt to take advantage of the blog fodder that fills my brain while driving.  For a while, I had the awesome idea to keep a note pad with me at all times.  What?  Oh.  That’s one of those things you see people writing on with a pen or pencil.  You know, it has all those pieces of paper conveniently held together for you?  A note pad?  No?  Okay then.  I decided to keep an ancient recording device with me so that I could write down my ideas as I had them.  The trouble with this is that my handwriting while driving is pretty terrible.  This as opposed to the flawless script I produce when sitting at a desk.  By the time I would sit down to post, I could no longer decipher the idea and the actual thought that prompted the note was no longer accessible within my cluttered mind.

This Brain Chip/Glasses Combo thingy is a much better idea.  In fact, it’s brilliant!  And everyone knows that a brilliant idea is WAY better than an awesome one.  So if I’m wearing glasses the next time you see me, you can spend the rest of the afternoon wondering if you’ll be prominently featured on the world wide of webs that evening or not.  To paraphrase Kurt Cobain, just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not blogging about you.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha!