Fold My Laundry Please

Do you think James Bond has to keep receipts for everything so that he can get reimbursed for the stuff he buys while on the job?  Or does M just hand him a company charge card and trust his judgement as to what constitutes a legitimate business expense?  I ask because Andrew and I were engaged in a discussion about the James Bond books versus the movies this morning and Andrew brought up the fact that in the books, 007 throws cash around like it’s nothing because he knows he could die at any moment, his job being extremely dangerous and all, and he doesn’t want to leave any money behind.  Quite frankly, I had never thought of Bond as actually getting paid for his assassinatorial services.  I’ve always had the impression that he didn’t have a permanent residence that he needed a regular paycheck to maintain.  No bills to pay.  No fridge to keep full.  I mean, officially, he doesn’t even exist.  He always seems to be holed up in some resort somewhere in the world, gettin’ to know the ladies and living off of room service.  Until M has a job for him, that is.  Then he’s all business.  Business and ladies.  I can just see M’s monthly review of the expense reports now…

Moneypenny:  Here you go, ma’am.  This month’s charge reports for James Bond.

M:  Thank you, Moneypenny.  Well, well, well.  Let’s see what sort of rubbish 007 charged this month.  Bullets…okay.  Dry cleaning…okay.  Oh, looks like there were more fees than usual for removing the blood stains from his tuxedo this time around.  Hair gel…a British agent does have to keep up a dapper appearance.  Gin, vermouth, olives…always with the vodka martini!  *imitates Bond*  "Shaken, not stirred."  Hah!  His liver will be jerky long before the commies get him!  Lunch out with Q, construction fees to repair damages to a hotel he destroyed, anti-gravity boots, submarine sports car, laser shooting watch band, more bullets, silver cufflinks, massage fees, license to kill renewal fee, more hair gel, …oooh!  Credits for baccarat wins!  Nice work, Bond!  Wait!  What’s this?  Paperclips and duct tape?  Who does he think he is?  MacGuyver?  MONEYPENNY!  GET 007 IN HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE!

Bond:  Hello, Moneypenny.  [Insert overt sexual innuendo here.]

Moneypenny:  *smiles and blushes*  Right on time as usual, James.  M is waiting to see you. 

James Bond would visit Humor-Blogs.com if he wasn’t so busy killing people and romancing ladies.