Fold My Laundry Please

June 30, 2008

We Are Go for Take-off!

Filed under: "Where On Earth?" - Melissa @ 3:05 pm

I sat down at my computer this morning to check my e-mail, and what did I see?  The first video submission for the "Where On Earth" video project was sent in by Arpeggio Andy!  Hip, hip, hooray!  Now it feels like this thing is actually gonna happen!  I have been harboring a secret worry that I would have to make the kids dance and the whole video would be clips of me and my children.  It looks like the kids are off the hook…for now!  I’m still gonna make them dance, just not for this particular video! 

So now I’m just waiting for the rest of you.  You know who you are!  That’s right…EVERYONE!!  I’m looking at everyone!  Except Andy, of course.  (Hi, Andy!)  Remember, I need your videos by July 20th!!  Only three weeks left to go!  So get on out there and dance!

Dance I say! 

 

I’m still waiting for your videos, Humor-Blogs.com

 

June 25, 2008

Shameless Self Promotion

I am not a good loser.  I know that I’m supposed to compete "for the fun of it" and that "winning isn’t everything" and that "it’s an honor just to be nominated", but I’ve been nominated a couple of times now and have won exactly ZERO TIMES!  Part of me says, "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, therefore entering this contest again would be insane."  But another part of me says, "If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!", and, "Just keep swimming!", and other annoyingly perky epithets.  It kind of makes me want to vomit. 

What contest, you ask?  Why, it’s the weekly caption contest over at Mattress Police.  Each week, Diesel doctors up a pictures from a recently released movie by placing himself somewhere in the scene.  Then the readers get a chance to assign that picture a witty caption.  Diesel’s wife then picks out her ten favorite captions, and a voting post is put up so that all of the readers can vote for their favorite.  The winner receives a copy of his book, Antisocial Commentary: From the Secret Files of the Mattress Police, along with a badge to put up on their blog and hitherto unknown internet fame.  Now, it just so happens that I am a fairly witless witty person, so I submit a few suggestions for the pictures from time to time.  This week was no different.  Something else that is not different is that fact that I have exactly two votes so far, one from my husband (mostly because I sent him the link and told him to vote for me OR ELSE) and one from myself.  This means that I am falling behind in the polls by quite a bit.

And so, despite the fact that I have already asked one GINORMOUSLY HUGE favor of you guys this week, I would also like to ask you to head on over to this week’s contest and click on the little bubble next to the name of my blog.  My caption may not seem very funny to those of you who don’t regularly read Diesel’s blog, but trust me, it’s HILARIOUS!

So please, go vote for me. Iwould like to at least get more than 2 votes this time!

 

DON’T FORGET!  All video submissions need to be sent to me at foldmylaundryplease@gmail.com by July 20th.  Please put "Where On Earth" in the subject line and be sure to include name, city and state, and your site name (if you have one) in your email.

 

Don’t forget to click here, too!  That wasn’t hard, now is it? 

June 21, 2008

Your Participation Would Be More Than Appreciated!

Filed under: "Where On Earth?" - Melissa @ 8:41 pm

I was commenting on Claudia’s blog today when I had a thought.  And it was a good thought!  A fun thought!  I think.  But it’s going to take all of you (plus any of your readers who you can convince to read this blog post and join in the fun) to pull it off, otherwise it might be kind of lame.  Okay, here’s my idea…

I’m sure most of you have heard of Matt.  I saw his latest video on Claudia’s blog this morning.  Check it out.


Basically, what Matt does is travel from one exotic location to another, taking the time to film himself dancing badly someplace visually stunning.  He goes all over the world and, I’m sure, makes a megaton of friends along the way!  This is actually my dream job.  Because I, too, am capable of dancing poorly.  Plus, I love to travel. 

So I want to find out more about you guys.  I would TOTALLY LOVE IT if each of you would film yourselves dancing badly and send it to me.  I would then compile all the videos and put it to music, ala Matt.  You could be dancing in your house, in your yard, at your favorite restaurant, at a nearby tourist trap, basically anyplace that says a little something about you.  And I don’t even care what you wear in the video, whether it’s your favorite pair of jammies or a three piece suit.  As long as all your naughty bits are covered.  This is a family blog, after all.  It would be a sort of "Where On Earth Are All My Peeps?"  Or possibly a better title, but you get the drift.

So I’m TOTALLY EXCITED about the idea!  It could actually work!  I’ll even give everyone plenty of time to film themselves and send it to me.  Say…4 weeks.  Does that work for you guys?  Just send me your videos by Sunday, July 20th. I’ll work on the video starting on Monday the 21st, so be sure to get them in on time!  You can send them to foldmylaundryplease@gmail.com and be sure to put "Where On Earth" in the subject line so that I can easily filter them out of all the millions of other very important e-mails I receive.

The tech specs: 

  • Try to send a Quiktime version of your video.  I have a Mac and Quiktime videos are easiest for me to work with.  If you can’t make it Quiktime, I’m sure I can figure it out, so send it anyway. 
  • The videos you send should be 1 - 2 minutes long.  That way I’ll be able pull the best bit out of it for the final film.
  • Some people are shy.  You do not have to say a single word on your video.  You can even look away from the camera and pretend you’re somewhere, ANYWHERE, else.  But please don’t cover your face!  I wanna see your smiling mug!  You handsome devil, you!
  • By sending me your videos, you are signing the rights for them over to me.  I will not be using it to make any money, so don’t expect any royalties.  The only payment you could ever hope to receive is my eternal gratitude and, possibly, some extra traffic to your site.
  • I will have complete discretionary control over what clips from your video I choose to put in the final film, so don’t send anything that will keep you from running for office someday.  I’m just sayin’.
  • Remember that old saying?  The one that says something about "Dance like no one’s watching"?  Do that!  Dance like the wind!

I cannot stress this last point strongly enough…

ANY VIDEOS I RECEIVE THAT ARE PORNOGRAPHIC IN NATURE OR THAT DEPICT THE USE OF ILLICIT DRUGS, ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR, OR THE DESTRUCTION OF PUBLIC PROPERTY WILL NOT MAKE IT INTO THE VIDEO!!  IN FACT, THEY WILL BE IMMEDIATELY DEEESTROOOOOOOYYYED!!!!! 

Be sure to include some ideas about the title of our film and a link to your blog or website if you have one.  You don’t have to have a blog to participate, anyone is welcome to play along, but maybe I can send a little traffic your way if you do.  And PLEASE, tell your friends/readers about this project!  The more videos I get the better the final product will be!  And I don’t have that many readers, myself.

I’ll keep you updated on our progress right here at Fold My Laundry Please. 

Now get out there and dance badly!

 

All authors and readers from Humor-Blogs.com are also invited to participate!  Come play with us! 

June 20, 2008

What Can I Say? He’s Romantic Like That.

Filed under: What I Do When I'm Not Folding Laundry - Melissa @ 7:20 pm

This morning after going through my normal morning routine, I sat down at my computer to check my e-mail.  My inbox was full of newsletters, junk, fun forwards, the usual stuff.  As I went through it, I noticed that I had an e-mail from my husband.  Sometimes he has problems with insomnia and so he gets on the computer to pass the time.  Occassionally he finds an e-card for me or just writes me a letter.  I absolutely LOVE getting notes from him, so I hurriedly opened it up.

It rambled a bit from subject to subject (hey, it was very, very late!), but the overall message was clear.  He loves me!  I am his best friend and I’m beautiful and I’m smart and I’m a wonderful mother and HE LOVES ME!!!  You can see why I love getting letters from him!

As I neared the bottom, I noticed that he seemed to have written me a poem.  "How sweet," I thought, "a love poem!"  Eagerly, I began to read it:

We’re no strangers to love.

You know the rules, and so do I

Hmmm.  It sounds kind of familiar.  Anyway…

A strong commitment’s what I’m dreamin’ of.

You wouldn’t get this from any other guy.

Did he…?  Naw.  He wouldn’t do that.

IIIIII just wanna tell you how I’m feeling.

Gotta make you understand.

…!!!

Never gonna give you up

Never gonna let you down

Never gonna run around and desert you

Never gonna make you cry

Never gonna say goodbye

Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!

HOLY CRAP!!!  MY BELOVED JUST RICKROLLED ME IN A LOVE LETTER!!!

I knew there was a reason I loved that man! 


 

Humor-Blogs.com?  You just got rickrolled!

June 19, 2008

Melissa Who?

Why, may I ask, is it so darn hard to adjust to something as simple as a MAJOR CHANGE in your daily routine?  I just can’t understand how school ending and bedtimes adjusting can so totally throw a person off of their groove!  I’ve been moving around like a zombie, half awake, half asleep, barely able to keep track of what day of the week it is, much less get on the computer to blog.  I’ve been trying to at least keep up with my blog reading, but even that’s been sketchy!  I think the transition period is finally over, though.  Phew! 

The details of this drastic transition are as follows.

First came KINDERGARTEN GRADUATION!  

 http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Class%20of%202008.jpg

Look at them.  Aren’t they adorable?  My guy is in the back row on the left in the green t-shirt.

"But it was the graduation ceremony!  Why is he only wearing a t-shirt when clearly the other kids are more appropriately dressed for such a milestone?  Have you no class woman?" 

Let me just say this.  When I got the boy dressed that morning, I did remember that he had his kindergarten PROGRAM that afternoon.  So I chose a clean pair of pants and a shirt that would stand out for pictures.  It wasn’t until this moment…

 http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Governor%20Ethan.jpg

…that I realized that this PROGRAM was actually not a program but in fact was a GRADUATION.  How clueless am I?  I feel I must tell you that I did NOT burst into tears upon this realization.  My eyes may have gotten a tad bit moist.  And a tear or two or forty may have snuck down my cheek.  But I did NOT cry.  DID!  NOT!  Got it? 

And check out the head of hair on this baby that was at the GRADUATION!

http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Crazy%20Hair.jpg

Freaky, huh?  It was like he was wearing a wig!

Now that we got that out of the way, on to FIELD DAY!

http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Sack%20Race.jpg

Field Day was held on the last day of school and possibly the coldest day of summer.  It was cloudy, dark, rainy, and COLD!  48 degrees may feel okay when the sun is shining, but when it’s wet and dark out?  BRRRRRR!  So despite the fact that many of the kids were bundled up in the winter coats that us moms had just gotten around to washing and packing away for the summer but had to pull back out again because can you believe this weather, a good time was had by all.  I think a little splash of color is in order, don’t you?

 http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Parachute.jpg

The parachute was always one of my very favoritest things in elementary school!

And what better way to end the day than to go back inside where it’s nice and warm?

 http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Sea%20of%20Graduates.jpg

Or we could just hold the GRAND FINALE ASSEMBLY outside on the cold hard cement and eat popsicles.  Whatever.  And see that cute little girl in bright pink with the curly wurly pigtails who seems to be talking to Ethan while he ignores her completely?  I have it on good authority that she is "the most pretty girl in afternoon kindergarten."  Ah, young love.

And, yes, I know I put that picture up already.  But I like it.  So back off. 

"So now that school is over, what have you been doing with all of your ’spare’ time?" 

Well, I’ll tell ya.  It’s mostly been a flurry of doctor visits before our insurance runs out.  But I’ve also tried to fit in some fun stuff.  Like getting the kids signed up for this summer’s reading program at our local library*.  And going to this week’s free movie at our local movie theater*.  I even managed to get some kid-free time and go get my hair cut at my local hair salon*.  

http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/funny-dog-pictures-new-not-blind-stylist.jpg

But the biggest thing we’ve done is restructure our evening schedule.  Yes.  Schedule.  Don’t laugh.  So now my iPhone bleeps to tell me when to cook dinner.  And it bleeps to tell us when to eat dinner.  And it bleeps to tell the kids when to go get ready for bed.  And it bleeps to tell us to sit down and read books for bedtime.  And it bleeps to tell us to put the kids in bed.  We are completely dependent on technology.  It’s sad really.  Theoretically, I could remember to do all of these things myself.  In fact, I’ve done it before.   But usually I sit around and procrastinate until I’m tired and cranky myself and bedtime turns into scream-at-and-threaten-the-children time.  The downside to getting the children to bed on time?  They wake up that much earlier.  And I still haven’t fixed my own bed time yet.  (Note to self:  Set alarm on iPhone for Mommy’s bedtime.)  Hence the nearly constant half awake, half asleep, zombie-like state mentioned above.

"That doesn’t really account for all of your time, though.  Surely you could have reached out and said hello to us.  What else is going on, Melissa?"

Erm.  Well.  I’ve also developed a new habit.  An addiciton really.  *sigh*  This is really hard for me to say to you.  Okay.  Here it goes.  I’vebeenwatchingseasonfourofTheOfficetheamericanonenotthebritishoneyesthewholeseason!  Phew!  That was easier than I thought it would be!

 

http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Office-Cast-800x600.jpg

Yes.  The Office is my new obsession.  (Don’t worry LOLcats, you’ll always hold a special place in my heart.)  I’d seen clips before and thought they were funny, but I never actually watched the show.  Not having a television will do that.  But now you can watch full episodes online for free!  And that’s all kinds of awesome!

So there you have it.  How I’ve spent the last week and a half in a nutshell.  A really, really long nutshell.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got the first and second seasons of The Office on order and I have to go wait on the from porch for the UPS guy to arrive.  He should be here in two or three days.  Ciao!

 

*Due to rising gas prices ($4.21/gallon for regular!), all summer activities will be confined to local locations.  That is all. 

 

Now that I’m back, you can start clicking on my Humor-Blogs.com link again! 

June 16, 2008

‘Nuf Said

Filed under: LOL Pics - Melissa @ 8:18 am

 http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/funny-pictures-monday-polar-bear.jpg

 

Humor-Blogs.com nearly didn’t get out of bed this morning. 

June 15, 2008

Happy Father’s Day!

Filed under: Holidays - Melissa @ 10:05 am

 http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Fathers%20Day%202.jpg

Dear Andrew,

On the day Ethan was born, you instantly turned into his biggest advocate.  You held his tiny hand while the nurses cleaned him up and stood by his side as they put that oxygen mask over his little face.  As he grew up, you played with him and protected him.  You taught him about all the important things like church and Star Wars.  Then Gideon came along and suddenly you had two little boys looking up to you.  You taught Gideon how to run and jump and about what it means to be a good man.

When I was pregnant the third time, we found out that it was going to be a girl.  You thought of the perfect name for her and enthusiastically helped me pick out pink frilly outfits for her.  As Aurora got older, you spoiled her mercilessly!  You taught her that she was beautiful and smart and completely capable of doing whatever she wants to do.  Now we have Aubrey, too.  She takes such joy in cuddling up with you.  Whenever you walk in the door, she crawls over to you as fast as her little knees will take her.   

 The image “http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Fathers%20Day%201.jpg” cannot be displayed, because it contains errors.

You are such a wonderful father and our children are lucky to have you!

I love you, Andrew!  Happy Father’s Day!

 

And Happy Father’s Day to all the dads over at Humor-Blogs.com, too! 

June 11, 2008

Kindergarteners No Longer

Filed under: What I Do When I'm Not Folding Laundry - Melissa @ 3:17 pm

Bossy had her Sea of Graduates.

Here’s mine.

http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/Sea%20of%20Graduates.jpg

She says it goes by in the blink of an eye.  I’m inclined to believe her. 

 

Quick!  Click here!  My ratings are slipping! 

June 5, 2008

So That’s What They’re For!

Filed under: What I Do When I'm Not Folding Laundry - Melissa @ 12:10 am

I stood in my kitchen this morning, staring glumly at our neglected back yard through the sliding glass door.  The weeds, the grass, the unswept porch, THE WEEEEEEDS!  It was a thoroughly depressing sight.  But my toe has been feeling better (thank you for asking), at least good enough for me to make a few quick passes over the lawn with our push mower.  And perhaps I could bring myself to yank a weed or two while I was out there.  But it would be SO MUCH WORK and I was STILL ROCKIN’ THE INJURED LIST and WAAH WAAH WAAH WAAAAAAAH!  So I sat down at the computer instead.

And revelation came in the form of a comment on my last post.  Teresa sympathized with my pain and my lack of desire to do yard work.  Then she said something that really struck home.

"Just wait…in a few years, having all those kids will really pay off. They will mow, trim, weed and rake for room and board (and a bit of allowance). It’s awesome!"

And that’s when it hit me.  Hey, I have kids.  I HAVE KIDS!!  And they have hands!  HANDS!  And arthritis-free backs, hips, and knees!  YAY!  And so one of my errands while Ethan was at school today was a trip to Walmart to purchase teeny tiny garden gloves and some of those cheapy, generic, Crocs rip-offs.

When school let out, I revealed my plan and showed the children their "prizes".  

http://foldmylaundryplease.blogsome.com/images/IMG_0778.jpg

And much cheering was heard in the land!  We returned home and gleefully outfitted ourselves for toiling in the back yard.  TOILING!  GLEEFULLY!  Once equipped, I informed the children that we were all going to be pulling weeds.  All of us.  And more cheering was heard in the land!  HUZZAH!

At first, everyone enthusiastically began ripping weeds from the ground and proudly showing off how long the roots on their weeds were.  Five minutes later, the reality of the situation began to sink in.  You know what?  This "fun" strongly resembles WORK.  I know.  Strange how that is.

So began the nagging.

And the threats.

A reassignment of duties was in order.

Ethan started off requiring much nagging.  There was a whole lot of "Put your shoes back on," here and "You can’t stare the weeds out of the ground," there, but finally he noticed that the yard looked much nicer behind us and that the work area was shrinking.  So he retained his full-time position of Weed Puller Guy. 

Gideon alternated back and forth between pulling weeds, and sitting in a lawn chair complaining about his back.  I think I may have been mistaken about his age.  I thought he was four, but apparently he’s 90 YEARS OLD.  So while Ethan had required merely a small sprinkling of threats to motivate him onward, Gideon needed more of a generous dollop.  (I love that word.  Dollop.)  So he was demoted to a part-time weed pulling position.  However his duties were expanded to include, but were not limited to, listening for and LOUDLY ANNOUNCING the arrival of the ice-cream man (our neighborhood has three or four of them come by each evening), dancing wildly to the ice cream truck’s music until it had faded away, pulling the legs off of and then stomping on bugs, and ruminating out loud (emphasis on the loud) about why it might be that girls do not have penises.

Aurora, being only two years old, was allowed to spend most of her time simply running around on the freshly mown lawn, singing songs in her highest pitch, and trying to pull the plants that are supposed to be there out of the ground.

Much fun was had by all.  Or at least the yard is looking better now.  And it only took 3 hours!  My, how time does fly!

And so it appears that children are good for more than just an excuse to go to Mc Donald’s.  Who knew?

 

I could do with a back rub now.  I hear Humor-Blogs.com has the hands of an angel!  

Get free blog up and running in minutes with Blogsome
Theme designed by Janis Joseph