Fold My Laundry Please

This morning, Claudia wrote a post about being honest about herself.  She even confessed to some rather scandalous (She dyes her hair!) tidbits about herself.  It would seem that revealing your flaws is what all the cool kids are doing, so I thought I would take a shot at it.  Claudia had 10 things, but I only have 6.  But that’s only because I have fewer flaws than she does.

I kid!  I kid!  It was a joke! 

So here they are.  Six less than pleasant things about little ol’ me.

1. I am terribly shy when meeting people in person. This makes it really hard to make real life friends. I love the internet because I’m not afraid to talk to people here, but when I’m face to face with someone, my insides scrunch up, my anus puckers (Teeheehee! That image cracks me up!), and I have to work really hard to appear as if I’m breathing normally. It usually takes about two years or so of being around someone before I finally turn into the same person that you see on my blog.
2. I spend longer than I need to when leaving comments because I have to try and spell a couple of words using the letters that the word verification thingy comes up with.  By the time I finally hit the Publish Button, the server has reset the letters and I have to type in a whole new set of letters.  This presents a dilemma for me.  I have to type the new letters in quickly or else I will sit there and play with the new ones and a whole vicious cycle begins.
3. I am a recovering arithmomaniac.  I used to count everything.  And I do mean everything!  I knew exactly how many steps it took for me to walk from my car to the kitchen.  I knew the number of stairs I needed to climb in any given building I frequented.  Eating jellybeans?  Counted them.  Pulling weeds?  Counted them.  Now I just count small things, like how many times I swipe the dish rag over a plate when washing the dishes or how many times I run the comb through each child’s hair when I comb their hair in the mornings.  My saving grace?  Distraction.  Plain and simple.  Believe me, there is nothing more distracting than a toddler blowing snot bubbles and trying to lick your computer monitor while you’re trying to count keystrokes as you type!
4. I cry when I see marching bands.  I absolutely LOVE to watch marching bands, but when I hear one, my eyes involuntarily fill with tears and my throat clinches tight.  Weird, huh?
5. Despite the title of my blog, I don’t actually want anyone to fold my laundry for me.  I have…issues…with how my laundry is folded.  If it’s not just exactly right, I have to redo it.  If someone else folds my laundry, I smile and thank them.  But as soon as they leave, I pull all the freshly folded clothes out the the drawers and refold every last piece.  Now if anyone wanted to do my dishes…that is another story entirely!  Perhaps I should change the name of my blog to "Wash My Dishes Please".
6. I am terminally lazy.  And for the oddest of reasons.  It’s because I can’t do any small task without turning it into a VERY LARGE JOB.  Take this morning for example.  My van has gotten completely out of control crazy what with the amount of toys, papers, and stale, moldy bagels in it, toys being the biggest offender.  I woke up early and found Ethan getting himself dressed and ready for the day.  I took him out to the garage with me and handed him a plastic bag and told him to fill it with toys, empty it in his toy bin, and come back and fill it again, empty it again, fill it, empty it, until every last toy was out of the car.  That was all I planned to do.  I wanted to tone the crazy down a bit was all.  Then I decided it wouldn’t be a half bad idea to get myself a plastic bag and remove all the trash from the car.  This morphed into me pulling the vacuum out into the garage and wedging myself in between all the seats to vacuum out the nooks and crannies.  This involved the use of various vacuum attachments, you know, to increase the complication factor.  Then I couldn’t bring myself to leave without wiping clean every leather and plastic surface in the vehicle and cleaning the windows to remove all of the nasty fingerprints.  Mirrors had to be cleaned, towels under baby seats changed, the baby seats themselves removed and the covers washed, the back of the van vacuumed out and all the items we keep in there reorganized for maximum neatness, the handheld vacuum I keep in the van had to be recharged (yes, I keep a vacuum in the car), and all the carpets had to be liberally Febreezed.  If I had a small, portable steam cleaner, I would have steam cleaned the carpets, too.  Goodness knows they need it.  Believe me, it pained me to walk away with that left undone.  But walk away I did.  Now I’m completely exhausted.  My car is sparkling, but I need a nap.

Phew!  Number six was a long one! 

You know, as I read over these items to check for grammar errors, I realize that my personality may lean a little towards Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.  Huh.

Humor-Blogs.com washes their hands exactly eight times using a new bar of soap for each wash.  Eight times a day.  Every day.  But only seven on Sundays.