This is my daughter, Princess Butterfly.
She’s a very busy girl.
Very, very, very busy.
There are dances to dance…
…jumps to jump…
…twirls to twirl…
…and songs to sing.
I flit! I flut! I flit, I flut, I fly! (NAME THAT MOVIE! Hint: It’s muuuuuusical.)
I think taking pictures of hummingbirds might be easier.
Humor-Blogs.com doesn’t like to dance. Or jump. Or twirl. Or sing.
After picking up a prescription the other day, the pharmacist pulled us aside to give me the dosage details before we left. I was just about leave when Gideon told the pharmacist, "I like your hair. Even though you are a baldy."
The pharmacist just smiled and said, "Thank you very much," before turning around and going back to work.
Me? I think I died right there in Walmart.
Humor-Blogs.com is also properly embarrased. But for other reasons entirely.
I am the ultimate citizen. And I’ll tell you why. I have the City of Salem Dead Animal Removal saved to my iPhone contacts. And I use it. Often. We live on the edge of town where city and country meet which means there are a lot of dead animals on our roads. And I have deemed it my civic duty to make sure the City of Salem is fully aware of each and every dead critter I spy. I AM THE EYES OF THE CITY!!! (Look at me sounding my barbaric yawp! What a cutie I am!) Dead deer on the side of the road? I called it in. Dead marmot-y looking thing that our neighbors thought would be funny to drag off the street and squeeze under the windshield wipers of their roommate’s jeep and then leave to rot in the gutter in front of our house? Called it. The city loves me!
Either that or they cringe when they see my number on their caller id.
You want further proof of what a good citizen I am?
I feel so patriotic now! Oregon’s mail-in ballot system is awesome!
Humor-Blogs.com hates it when I get all political like this.
My babies are sick…
…and I’m not feeling too well, either.
Humor-Blogs.com’s got the cure for what ails ya!
Accessories make the outfit!
Reaching for great heights.
Should I be alarmed that when I get a hit from someone doing a search for "Officer Ugh" or "Poison Control," that those people seem to spend a significant amount of time here? Shouldn’t they be a bit more concerned with whoever ingested a questionable substance than they are in my blog? Just a thought.
The people over at Humor-Blogs.com would know where that quote in the title was from.
This is Captain Byron. He’s the teacher for the Home Depot Kids Workshops at our local Home Depot.
He starts each workshop with a speech about tool safety and a cheer.
"Give me an H!" And the kids all scream, "H!" "Give me an O!" "O!" "Give me an M!" "M!" "Give me an E!" "E!"
"Give me a D!" "D!" "Give me an E!" "E!" Give me a P!" "P!" "Give me an O!" "O!" "Give me a T!" "T!"
"What’s that spell?" "HOME DEPOT!"
"WHAT’S THAT SPELL?" "HOME DEPOT!!"
"I CAN’T HEAR YOU!" "HOME DEPOT!!!!"
"AND WHAT DO WE DO?" "WORK SAFE!!!"
And then we play sword fighting with claw hammers.
Humor-Blogs.com hires other people to swing hammers for him.
I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats wanting to know how much my cell phone bill is going to be. Well, if I hadn’t called and spoken with the good folks at AT&T, it would’ve been close to $600 more than normal. Luckily, the service rep was able to upgrade our texts to "Unlimited" and notated our account that once billing is assessed for the month, that the charge for the text overage is to be removed. YAY!!!! Let’s just hope the next person I talk to agrees.
To be continued once I get my bill…
Humor-Blogs.com. Because you need a good laugh after seeing your bill.
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