Fold My Laundry Please

Yet another installment of Friday Funnies!

"A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.  ‘Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.’  Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s okay, he knows the bank manager.  Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.  The frog says, ‘Sure. I have this,’ and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.  Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

"She finds the manager and says, ’There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.’  She holds up the tiny pink elephant. ‘I mean, what in the world is this?’

"The bank manager looks back at her and says, ’It’s a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan.  His old man’s a Rolling Stone.’"

That one was courtesy of my good friend Tori from "back in the day".  Thanks Tori!  Hope you guys have a great weekend!

Here is a joke I thought would start your weekend off on a happy note!  Enjoy!

"A man is involved in a terrible accident at work and ends up losing both of his ears.  Because of this physical deformity, he ends up getting a very large settlement from his company.  He decides to use his settlement to purchase an up and coming software company.  After the purchase, he realizes that he knows nothing about software and decides to hire someone to run the company for him. 

"In the final interview process, the man settles on three candidates.  He sits down with the first candidate.  Candidate #1 has a glowing resume and an impressive educational background.  After asking him many different questions, the man’s final question is, ‘What is the first thing you notice about me?’  Candidate #1 says, ‘Well, you have no ears.’  Having this pointed out to him angers the man and he goes on to interview the second candidate. 

"Candidate #2 is even better than #1.  She has an even more impressive educational background and her interpersonal skills far excel #1’s.  The man asks the final question.  ‘What is the first thing you notice about me?’  Candidate #2 answers, ‘You have no ears.’  Having this imperfection pointed out yet again enrages him and he orders Candidate #2 out of his office. 

"Finally, he sits down with Candidate #3.  Candidate #3 is the best of the bunch.  He surpasses #2 in education and interpersonal skills and even has an incredible amount of actual work experience in the field.  After going through all of the other interview questions, the man asks his final question.  ‘What is the first thing you notice about me?’  Candidate #3 looks at him for a few minutes and says, ‘You wear contact lenses.’  The man is taken aback and says, ‘That’s incredibly observant of you!  How ever did you know that?’  And Candidate #3 says, ‘Well you can’t very well hold up a pair of glasses without any ears!’"

I hope you have a great weekend!