Fold My Laundry Please

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Do you have cranky children in the car?  Are they whining incessantly about how someone squished their project at school, you didn’t tell them what was on the lunch menu that morning and they had to wait until lunch to figure out what to eat (Here’s a hint, it’s pizza.  It’s always pizza.), and that the school day is JUST SO LONG?  Well fellow parents, suffer no more!  Have I got a plan for you!  All you need do is simply let slip that if you don’t get home quick, you’re going to end up driving home in a puddle of pee.  Immediately, you will see young boys perk right up.  At first it will be oodles of giggles, as potty humor is extremely popular with the under 7 crowd.  Then the older ones will seize the opportunity to increase the jocularity (which, as it turns out, has nothing whatsoever to do with sports) by capitalizing on your pain.  Suddenly, the back seat will erupt with cries of "Whatever you do, mommy, don’t think about water!" and, "Drip!  Drip!  Drip!  Drip!"  Also, they will be sure to point out that the farm you drive by every day is currently watering its crops.  "Look, mommy!  The sprayers are on!  They’re going, ‘Psssshhh, pssshhh, pssshhh, pssshhh, pssshhh, pssshhh…"  Oh, the hilarity!  You will be miserable, but your children will have definitely cheered up!

Is it you that’s not feeling your usual chipper self?  Are you having "one of those days"?  I have a cure for that, too!  Just take a gander at this:

Now don’t you feel better about your day?  I know I do!

Humor-blogs.com will cheer you up every time!

If you’re like me, you barely have time to brush your teeth in the morning, much less get caught up on your bible reading.  And so I present to you "Bible in a Minute".

You are welcome!

Humor-Blogs.com thinks religion is just some grand government conspiracy.  Now where did my tinfoil hat go?

This one’s for Claudia. 

Okay.  It’s for me, too. 

I think I need to put this song on my iPhone!

Humor-Blogs.com wants him to love it, too. 

Spring break is here, my pretties!  And I have been saving a ton of gas not having to drive all over town playing chauffeur.  I’m just sad that it’s Thursday already.  I had big plans for this week.  I was going to thoroughly scrub all three bathrooms instead of doing the constant touch and go as usual.  The carpets were all going to be steam cleaned.  The boxes from moving?  They were going to be broken down and carted away.

What I’ve managed to do is exactly nothing.  I’ve read a few books.  I spent a day watching movies with the kids.  I sat in a chair watching Aubrey crawl all over the floor babbling happily and eating scraps of paper she finds.  I made a tent with blankets and hid inside of it, only emerging, roaring and growling, when a child attempted to invade my little hideaway.  I’ve only left the house to go to the gym. 

In short, it’s been blissful!  But it doesn’t leave much for me to talk about with you guys.  I mean, what would I tell you?  "Today, I read a mystery with a cookie theme, and guess what?  The person you least suspected did it!  Then I read a mystery with a chocolate theme, and guess what?  The person you least suspected did it!"  While I do enjoy some light, highly predictable reading from time to time, it’s not really something I think makes good blog fodder.

Lucky for you guys, I also spent a fair amount of time looking at nonsense on the internet!  (Did you know they have the internet on computers now?)  Mostly what I looked at were videos.  Of Mr. T.  DO NOT JUDGE ME!  Even better, they’re all 30 seconds or less!

Now tell me you don’t love that man!  He tough but he love his momma!  Fool! 

Humor-Blogs.com pities the fool who doesn’t click on their link! 

Whatever you do, do NOT break the law in the Philippines!  If you do, you will be placed in an unattractive jumpsuit and forced to…to…to dance!

It gets worse!

Thriller, indeed!  I just feel bad for that poor "girl"!

Okay, I don’t normally do two video posts in a row, but I just saw this one on Funny or Die and I can. not. stop. laughing!  I’ve watched it at least five times now and it only gets funnier each time!  I do have to put a warning out there.  It does have the F-bomb in it once about halfway through.  But I’m tellin’ ya…

…kicking Mother Nature in the face with your "energy legs"!  Bwahahahaha! 

What are my plans for this extra day off, you ask?  Well, I thought I’d head off to the gym with my husband for a relaxing workout.

Then maybe the family and I will have dinner out at a nice restaurant.

Or maybe we’ll just eat at home. 

What did you guys do with your weekend?

Andrew and I bought a bread machine about a month ago and have been having great fun making all sorts of delicious (and some not so delicious) loaves.  The only problem I have with bread machine bread is that it never seems fluffy enough to me.  It always turns out kind of dense.  I decided to take a peek at Youtube to see if I could find any helpful videos.  That’s when I found this terribly helpful nutritional advice:

I would have laughed myself silly if I hadn’t been sick!  Instead I kind of coughed and wheezed myself silly…if that’s even possible.

So if any of you out there have any advice that’s actually helpful, I’d really appreciate it.  None of the recipes I have call for any baking powder.  Should I try throwing some in and if so, how much?  Please help!

Here are a couple of hints.