Fold My Laundry Please

Recently, I chose to open up to you and discuss briefly my ongoing battle with depression.  Living with depression isn’t easy, especially when there are other people in your life depending on your ability to function.  My children look up to me.  They need me.  Without me, they would subsist solely on mini wheat bagels and honey sandwiches.  They need me to hold them and laugh with them.  They need me to give them baths and dig clean clothes out of the laundry pile for them.  They need me to build waterparks for them.  But mostly, they need to see me smile.

And nothing would make me smile more than for you to vote for me in this week’s Mattress Police Caption Contest!  That’s right folks, I am once again nominated, mostly because I am consistently funny.  Though I am told that at times I can be downright amusing.  The contest runs through Thursday and the big winner will be announced on Friday.  Just look for "Fold My Laundry Please" on the voting ballot and click on the little bubble to the left and click on the "Vote" bar at the bottom of the ballot.  It’s just that easy!

Now this contest is not to be confused with voting for standings at Humor-Blogs.com.  Although I wouldn’t hate it if you voted for me on both things. 

So go on over and vote for Fold My Laundry Please!  If you won’t do it for me, then, please, do it for the children!

*On a serious note, depression is nothing to laugh at.  For more information about dealing with depression or helping a loved one through it, check out Depression.com.  It’s filled with treatment options, facts about medications, what to expect at doctor’s visits, and simple day to day living.*

Why, may I ask, is it so darn hard to adjust to something as simple as a MAJOR CHANGE in your daily routine?  I just can’t understand how school ending and bedtimes adjusting can so totally throw a person off of their groove!  I’ve been moving around like a zombie, half awake, half asleep, barely able to keep track of what day of the week it is, much less get on the computer to blog.  I’ve been trying to at least keep up with my blog reading, but even that’s been sketchy!  I think the transition period is finally over, though.  Phew! 

The details of this drastic transition are as follows.

First came KINDERGARTEN GRADUATION!  

Look at them.  Aren’t they adorable?  My guy is in the back row on the left in the green t-shirt.

"But it was the graduation ceremony!  Why is he only wearing a t-shirt when clearly the other kids are more appropriately dressed for such a milestone?  Have you no class woman?" 

Let me just say this.  When I got the boy dressed that morning, I did remember that he had his kindergarten PROGRAM that afternoon.  So I chose a clean pair of pants and a shirt that would stand out for pictures.  It wasn’t until this moment…

…that I realized that this PROGRAM was actually not a program but in fact was a GRADUATION.  How clueless am I?  I feel I must tell you that I did NOT burst into tears upon this realization.  My eyes may have gotten a tad bit moist.  And a tear or two or forty may have snuck down my cheek.  But I did NOT cry.  DID!  NOT!  Got it? 

And check out the head of hair on this baby that was at the GRADUATION!

Freaky, huh?  It was like he was wearing a wig!

Now that we got that out of the way, on to FIELD DAY!

Field Day was held on the last day of school and possibly the coldest day of summer.  It was cloudy, dark, rainy, and COLD!  48 degrees may feel okay when the sun is shining, but when it’s wet and dark out?  BRRRRRR!  So despite the fact that many of the kids were bundled up in the winter coats that us moms had just gotten around to washing and packing away for the summer but had to pull back out again because can you believe this weather, a good time was had by all.  I think a little splash of color is in order, don’t you?

The parachute was always one of my very favoritest things in elementary school!

And what better way to end the day than to go back inside where it’s nice and warm?

Or we could just hold the GRAND FINALE ASSEMBLY outside on the cold hard cement and eat popsicles.  Whatever.  And see that cute little girl in bright pink with the curly wurly pigtails who seems to be talking to Ethan while he ignores her completely?  I have it on good authority that she is "the most pretty girl in afternoon kindergarten."  Ah, young love.

And, yes, I know I put that picture up already.  But I like it.  So back off. 

"So now that school is over, what have you been doing with all of your ’spare’ time?" 

Well, I’ll tell ya.  It’s mostly been a flurry of doctor visits before our insurance runs out.  But I’ve also tried to fit in some fun stuff.  Like getting the kids signed up for this summer’s reading program at our local library*.  And going to this week’s free movie at our local movie theater*.  I even managed to get some kid-free time and go get my hair cut at my local hair salon*.  

But the biggest thing we’ve done is restructure our evening schedule.  Yes.  Schedule.  Don’t laugh.  So now my iPhone bleeps to tell me when to cook dinner.  And it bleeps to tell us when to eat dinner.  And it bleeps to tell the kids when to go get ready for bed.  And it bleeps to tell us to sit down and read books for bedtime.  And it bleeps to tell us to put the kids in bed.  We are completely dependent on technology.  It’s sad really.  Theoretically, I could remember to do all of these things myself.  In fact, I’ve done it before.   But usually I sit around and procrastinate until I’m tired and cranky myself and bedtime turns into scream-at-and-threaten-the-children time.  The downside to getting the children to bed on time?  They wake up that much earlier.  And I still haven’t fixed my own bed time yet.  (Note to self:  Set alarm on iPhone for Mommy’s bedtime.)  Hence the nearly constant half awake, half asleep, zombie-like state mentioned above.

"That doesn’t really account for all of your time, though.  Surely you could have reached out and said hello to us.  What else is going on, Melissa?"

Erm.  Well.  I’ve also developed a new habit.  An addiciton really.  *sigh*  This is really hard for me to say to you.  Okay.  Here it goes.  I’vebeenwatchingseasonfourofTheOfficetheamericanonenotthebritishoneyesthewholeseason!  Phew!  That was easier than I thought it would be!

Yes.  The Office is my new obsession.  (Don’t worry LOLcats, you’ll always hold a special place in my heart.)  I’d seen clips before and thought they were funny, but I never actually watched the show.  Not having a television will do that.  But now you can watch full episodes online for free!  And that’s all kinds of awesome!

So there you have it.  How I’ve spent the last week and a half in a nutshell.  A really, really long nutshell.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got the first and second seasons of The Office on order and I have to go wait on the from porch for the UPS guy to arrive.  He should be here in two or three days.  Ciao!

*Due to rising gas prices ($4.21/gallon for regular!), all summer activities will be confined to local locations.  That is all. 

Now that I’m back, you can start clicking on my Humor-Blogs.com link again! 

Humor-Blogs.com nearly didn’t get out of bed this morning. 

All across the interwebs, this holiday season has been marked by a distinct lack of Christmas spirit.  So in an effort to dispel the general malaise, I want to wish you all a Merry LOL-Christmas!

And just because I fell over laughing when I saw it…

Now get out there and start being cheerful!  Or I’ll subject you to more LOLcats!

This evening was, joy of joys, the night I have my Group Groove class at the gym.  Basically, it’s an aerobic dance class.  But it is sooo much more than that!  It’s a fun way to exercise.  It’s also a group of normal sized ladies with the same goal as myself, to get thin again.  Most importantly, it’s proof that I’m not entirely uncoordinated!  Tonight I spent a physically strenuous hour doing the Mambo, cCarleston, and a whole lot of not very attractive body rolls. 

Tonight was also a revelation to me in a certain aspect of my personality.  I discovered that it really is all about me sometimes.  I’m not one of those people who places themselves off to the side of the classroom or in the back hoping that the instructor will simply not look in my direction.  I find a spot in the center of the room, preferably close to the front.  In a school setting, I’ve always been able to tell myself that I sit in front so that I don’t have to wear my glasses all the time just to see the teacher.  But aerobically?  It’s clearly so that I’ll get noticed by the instructor.  My proof of this?  Today I spent the last ten minutes of class trying to figure out how to ask The Groove Lady if I was doing good without seeming too neeeeeedy.  Yes, I wanted to fulfill my needy nature without appearing needy.  A difficult task indeed.  When class ended, I confidently strode to the front of the room (it wasn’t a long walk, what with putting myself front and center to begin with) and informed The Groove Lady that I was really enjoying her class (which I was) and that I thought I was getting close, at long last, to being able to follow along with the routines in a somewhat normal manner (which is also true).  She promptly informed me that I was correct in my assumption that I was The Guhroove Master and that I was making marked improvements each and every week.  I knew it!  See, it’s all about me sometimes.

Andrew went with me to the gym this evening since he had to skip his normal morning workout.  During his break times, he snuck upstairs and took a peek at our class through the glass doors.  Now, if you had asked me what I thought we looked like out there, I would’ve answered something like this.

Andrew said he thought we looked more like this.

So much for The Guhroove Master!

Keeping motivated has always been one of the hardest things about working out for me.  I’ll start out all gung ho, but about two weeks later I can’t seem to bring myself to get up off the couch anymore much less climb on a stairmaster.  My husband and his friend have been using a new site called Gyminee to keep track of their progress.  I opened up my own account at Andrew’s recommendation when I started working out again.  I didn’t think it would really do much for me.  I thought it was aimed more at serious weight lifters.  Me, I’m not into the weight lifting thing so much.  I prefer the more social type of things, like step aerobics classes, or my new favorite, Group Groove!  On my more anti-social days, I stick to my beloved stairmaster machine. 

However, once I got a chance to look at Gymninee a little bit, I realized there was actually a lot that could help me.  It keeps track of and charts my weight and body fat (which has been steadily going down, thankyouverymuch).  It also keeps track of my workout progress by allowing me to enter in the times, distances, METs, etc. of any cardio workouts I do.  Basically, it’s the charts that I like.  I suppose I could create my own charts, but it’s just so much easier this way.  I just enter in the numbers, and POOF!  Instant chart!  By the time I get done exercising each day, I’m too tired to make my own charts anyway.

And, probably the best part, the site is free!  It’s actually still in beta testing mode, so I’m not sure if it will cost anything once it’s done.  But for now, it costs absolutely nothing for your own account.    I guess what I’m trying to say is, if you need something to help organize your exercising, you should check out Gyminee.  Now if only they would add a feature where you could upload pictures of yourself to keep track of your progress that way.  Maybe I’ll send in an email about that feature.

When we moved to Oregon back in April, my family and I were greeted by many very friendly people.  We received smiles as we walked down the street.  Employees in the stores we shopped at were all more than happy to help us find what we needed or to spend a few minutes chit chatting with us.  It was an all around good vibe.  What I was totally not expecting, however, was the reaction to the size of our family.  People would ask us how many kids we had and when we told them that we had three children, their eyes would grow to the size of salad plates and every time… every. time. …they would say, "THREE KIDS?  You must be busy!"  The town we moved from in Idaho is 98% LDS families, so larger families aren’t unusual there.  But three kids?  Let’s be honest here.  Three is not a big number. 

At the time that we moved, I was only 3 or 4 months pregnant, so when people I didn’t know looked at me, I would get a look that clearly said, "Is she pregnant or just chubby?  I just won’t say anything about it."  As my belly got bigger and it became painfully obvious that I was indeed with child, the comments took on a new attitude.  While the general public had been shocked at a family with three children, they were positively agog when confronted with the possibilities of four kids.  In a single family no less! 

I distinctly remember one evening when we had taken the kids out to eat at Red Robin.  (Oh how I love Red Robin!  Burgerrrrrrrrsssss….)  Our meal had been consumed in peace and we had paid our bill and were heading home.  We walked past one table that had a young, 20-ish girl and her date.  She ooohed and aaahed over the children as they cavorted past, looking more and more surprised as each child went by.  As I approached she looked at me and gave me a big smile.  Then her gaze drifted down towards my belly and her jaw literally dropped.  Two tables down was an elderly couple enjoying their meal.  As my lovely family went past him and his wife, I heard him counting my younglings (and youngling-to-be).  "One, two, three…four!  Four kids!" 

Fast forward to last week.  I was taking advantage of Ethan being at school to do some shopping at Walmart with only Aurora, Gideon, and Aubrey in tow.  Our trip went well and the kids all behaved beautifully inside the store.  We got all of our items out to the van with no problem and had even loaded everything into the back.  I shut the back door and was ambushed by the lady who’s car was parked right next to mine.  "Oh my goodness!  Bless your little heart!  Are all these children yours?"  Now, mind you, all my kids weren’t even there with me.  "You’ve got, one…two…and three!  And they’re all so tiny!  Three sweet little blessings!  They are just the sweetest things!  Bless your little heart!  Bless your busy heart!  You must be running from morning to night!  Bless you and your family!  I am gonna keep you and your little ones in my prayers tonight!  Bless your soul!"  She blessed us a few more times before getting into her car and driving away leaving me in peace to buckle everyone into their carseats.

Luckily for me, I always seem to get the mostly positive, albeit creepy, reactions.  Andrew works with a woman who thinks that large families are a crime against the environment and are also very harmful to the physical and social developement of the children.  She must have read this article.  To those people I have only this to say.  "Pffft!"

What I’m trying to say is, I have often read posts by Chris on her blog "Notes From the Trenches"  where she speaks of people counting her children (she has seven) over and over and of all the weird questions she gets from total strangers when she’s out with her family.  (The most common question people ask me?  "Are they twins?" referring to Gideon and Aurora.  Gideon is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, big for his age four year old and Aurora is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed, petite little two year old.  No.  They’re not twins.)  And she’s not alone.  There are many blogs out there with authors who are parents of large families, and they all seem to get the same sort of reaction.  I used to read these posts and laugh at their absurdity.  Surely these parents were exaggerating!  There couldn’t be that much ignorance freely roaming the streets.  But now I know it’s true.  All of it.  And for me, it’s only the beginning.  As I plan to have a few more children still.  So there!  Take that you Breeder Haters!

LOL Cats!  I am totally loving these cute little kitties and their amusing epithets!  My husband says I should stop annoying you guys with these pictures.  But they are so appropriate for so many different situations!  Say, for example, you were trapped somewhere.

Or you wanted to express your irritation in a humorous way.

Or give someone a subtle hint.

Or simply spread a little cheer!

These kittehs are so versatile!  So don’t be surprised it you see a few more of these on my posts.  I even created an entirely new category for those people who want to look at all of my LOL Cat pictures.  Don’t worry, I’ll still have plenty of pictures of my family and the fun things we do together.  It’s not like I threw out my camera or anything. 

This morning we woke up to a thick, spooky fog, thereby kicking off the proper mood to our day.  We have a big day planned full of costume parades, trick or treating at Daddy’s work, trick or treating in our neighborhood, handing out candy to trick or treaters, and watching spoooooky moooovies!  I hope everyone has a happy and safe holiday, and don’t worry, there will definitely be pictures up tomorrow!

Today is the day, people!  Today I go back to the gym!  Quite frankly, I’m a little nervous.  It’s been a long time since I spent any time actually exercising in a gym.  At least three years.  And I was almost 20 pounds lighter then.  Which of course is a sure sign that I do indeed need to go to the gym, but I really don’t want to be sweatin’ in front of all those strangers in my too small workout clothes.  And, no, I will not go buy new workout clothes because I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the additional 20 pounds.  If I don’t buy new clothes, the pounds simply do not exist.  Right?  The saddest part of all of this is that I have already dropped below my prepregnancy weight, so I can’t even use that as my excuse!  Regardless of my apprehension, I will be hittin’ the mats this evening as soon as Andrew gets home from work which is in abooouuut…30 minutes!  Help!  Somebody stop me before I do something crazy, like 45 minutes on the stairmaster!